I spent a week at Standing Rock. This was over the time when the Army Corp of Engineers threatened eviction over live arms. We had ten thousand veterans come that same week to form a human shield and prevent a historic massacre akin to Wounded Knee. No one came with guns. By the time the deadline came, the weather was in the double negatives. I stayed in traditional shelters such as Tipis and Domes and overcame a phobia of the extreme cold. We outsiders were asked after the eviction date that if we weren't comfortable surviving those elements, to please leave and go back home. As keeping many people alive in those elements is resource intensive. Upon returning I was targeted for police harassment, and was on the verge of a mental breakdown because of other things happening in my life. My Mother asked me if I had fun. These are the journal entries from that time. You can find supporting materials on the internet about what happened over there. I still think about Standing Rock often. I think it was a portal that was created there. My life has not been the same since. I don't have space to process what happened, nor is my grief socially acceptable.
In 2010 I had a near death experience relating to the cold and had extreme anxiety and fear around extreme cold weather. Now extreme cold weather is a type of solace I can't describe with words. As long as I am prepared for it.
December 7, 2016 - Day 3 of negative degrees.
Port-a-johns are completely frozen, and vacuum trucks are unable to empty them. The anxiety of being in a new place causes muscle tension, which disrupts my internal plumbing. Cannabis helps me relax, but at Oceti, there is a strict no alcohol and no drugs policy, which I respect. It took three days for me to feel comfortable enough to engage in activities like playing football. By the sixth day, the port-a-johns were overflowing, posing a public sanitation risk. Options were to drive to the Rec Center or hold it in. I was working shifts at the emotional wellness tipi and opted to hold it till the next morning. I stopped consuming food to avoid needing the facilities, but this was unsustainable. Someone mentioned that the toilets at the far end of the camp were still usable. I geared up for the cold, which was daunting due to my fear of extreme cold, but I managed. The port-a-johns remain unserviced possibly due to the governor's threats to fine companies for servicing them or because of the blizzard. Medical cannabis aids my digestive flow and relaxes muscle tension. Despite respecting the camp's clean policy, it took three days before I could use the facilities. Now that I have, the port-a-johns are full again. The camp plans to implement composting toilets as the freezing weather renders septic fluid ineffective and poses a cholera risk. There are stories of someone getting hypothermia while trying to use the bathroom, and they couldn't be taken to the hospital due to the snow.
December 5, 2016 - Reflection
I have been serving as a wellness provider. Active listening to people who need it. Hold space for people who need to freak out and vent emotions. Team of 12. One Tipi and two Yurts. In this weather I cannot do much else than listen and be a burden on resources and a liability being inexperienced with arctic cold. It’s mostly winterized in there. The door has been floppy. The first night one of the other residents woke up to the door having been blown open by extreme gusts. Snow had been circulating everywhere through the wind. The wood burner was out. The emergency propane heater was out of propane. There was wood 8 feet outside the door. Someone was outside on medic guard and able to help. I’m sad they didn’t wake me up, but am glad they got the burner going. Since the door got fixed it’s been consistently warmer the past two days in the Tipi. The wind blows strong, but we are in time tested ancient engineering. In this time many people, especially non-native guests to the region who are unprepared for this weather have been freaking out and unable to leave due to blizzard conditions. I have had no fear. I have been calm and staying warm and providing emotional counsel to whoever comes in. I have to leave. I was planning on being here a month. I cannot be a drain on resources, a burden, and a liability. I can find ways of being of service back home. I am a stranger in a strange land here.
Thousands of years of survival and five hundred years of resistance to colonial genocide. Any good idea out there has probably already been thought of, implemented, and improved upon.
I do not think the drilling machinery of Energy Transfer will be able to operate in these sorts of conditions. The fight is far from over. Please be vigilant and support the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe and other First Nations in this fight.
Standing Rock was an Indigenous Prayer Resistance Camp. No one was armed. There are no drugs and alcohol allowed there. The ground we were on held the buried ancestors of the Sioux there. I and many others shared the perception that among fighting a pipeline, this was a portal opening to the spirit realm to change our collective course. Ancient ways of living were being revived. There were permanent residents, and people coming from hours away to receive healthcare and medical services. The medic operation was better staffed in diversity of vocational experience than the hospital in Bismarck. Fresh food was being brought in and distributed to the reservation there. A school was built there for the children and native language revitalizations were a hot topic. Yet everybody spoke English, militarized counter-resistance from the police and army were a constant, and the presence of white people was a necessity to keep efforts from turning into a historical repeat of Wounded Knee, where 150 Native Americans were massacred by the US Government on Pine Ridge reservation in 1890. Very multidimensional and difficult to convey without direct bearing of witness.
An eviction notice was delivered for the 4th of December, with ambiguity meant to cultivate fear of violence. The Army approved live ammunition for use in that eviction notice. To counter that state sanctioned terrorism, thousands of people made their way up to Standing Rock to deliver a clear message that we were not backing down. The Dakota Access Pipeline(DAPL) violated historical treaties with the Sioux nation, such as the Fort Laramie Treaty of 1851, which guaranteed Lakota ownership of the sacred Black Hills, as well as the land Standing Rock was on. The US Government has attempted multiple times since to purchase the Black Hills for large sums of money, and has framed the Black Hills as a National Park. Instead of speaking for this conflict, I’m attaching an article to this post from Indian Country Media Network. I’ve learned from my experience that there are a ton of historical treatises(‘treaties’) between the US Government and Native American Tribes that have not been upheld, and if honored, would prevent pipeline projects like this from happening. Heck, if these agreements were actually honored, I think the empire would crash. https://indiancountrymedianetwork.com/news/opinions/reclaiming-the-sacred-black-hills/
When the whole world was watching over social media, and thousands of people flocked to Standing Rock for ground support and protection, the eviction was backed down and not acted upon. There were acts of supply truck traffic being restricted into camp by police to starve the camps out by attrition.
Red Warrior: 'Fuck peace & love. Let's fuck some people up..'
Stories in the media about Standing Rock rarely reflect the conflicts that happen between water protectors. A Lakota friend of mine sent me a personal warning to heed caution with Red Warrior Camp. When I shared that with a caravan group I am a part of I created tension not knowing some of my friends who had already been were part of Red Warrior. Within Oceti lay a walled off camp where many of the protectors are primed more militantly towards direct action. Although that is a key component of what is happening at Standing Rock, many of the elders are prioritizing peace, deescalation, and safety. A 34 year old proclaimed ‘elder of the 7th generation’ calls for autonomy to be more militant and for the elders to get out of the way. The strategy of the larger Oceti has seemed to be conduct prayer and hold ourselves peacefully. Intergenerational conflicts on methodology. I am here to pray.
Photography is extremely restricted for various reasons. Someone had an epileptic seizure in one of the dining areas. Everybody stopped what they were doing to ensure safety and wellbeing. Response of unity and benefit to the common welfare. Why can’t we respond to a political crisis the same way we respond to a medical crisis?
December 3, 2016 - 'Hell is a Cold Tipi'
Canadian arctic blizzard from the Tundra a few hundred miles north. Today is resisting extreme weather conditions. Arctic winds pass regularly and can drop the temperature forty degrees in an hour. I'm prepared as best as I can.. Never done this before, and gear donations in camp help: Non-wool thermal Socks(I'm allergic to wool), a balaclava for my face, ski goggles to keep my eyelids from freezing.. exposed skin will freeze. My facial hair freezes in a minute of being outside.
I am okay. I am here and calm. I am learning. Six years ago I was terrified of suffocating in the extreme cold. Facing that fear for good. Difference between being in the cold, and being cold. Big difference. Next three days forecast calling for -18 with wind chill. WHEEEWW. If you are wondering whether that’s F/C, I forget and it doesn’t matter, both merge at -40.
Practically I knew to expect this, but had no context of experience. Many guests are unprepared, including many natives not from regions this cold. Most likely time to freeze is making bathroom treks during sleepy time.
Worst of all, the John trucks can’t suck up all the frozen septic poop, which fills to the top. Each septic toilet is a mountain of cholera. Composting toilet installation very soon, but in transition, nowhere to go #2. ‘Hell is a cold Tipi.’ I’m working in the emotional wellness Tipi. We’re in hell right now. I feel calm, and pretty fantastic. At least in hell I can laugh at myself.
November 30, 2016 - "This is not fun!"
Checking in from Steele, North Dakota. Tuesday. 9:10 P.M. We were driving through snow storm emergency advisory. 30 MPH Winds. Nearly driven off road. Atrocious. Forty miles to Bismarck. One car has 4WD the other does not. Window slightly broken, always crack open.. Constant gusts of frost making white noise when driving. Embark in AM in light time. I got cold bug onset right before leaving. Purging lungs with expectorants to avoid sickness and infection. No symptoms except snot. Almost out of my system.
Tom got minor frostbite in his toe and had to go to the ER. He's been serving as a medic for months. In his words, "This is not fun!" Instead of going to camp, we got a hotel room and picked Tom up from this hospital. We are forcing him to rest for a day instead of returning. Many there plan to be there to death. I'm ready to potentially die out here. I can't live with myself sitting out longer. Some are there for free food and pushing the limits on the sobriety policy. Someone I know was spotted wasted at the local casino. This is really heavy work.
28 Degrees tonight. High of the week. Low is -7 next Wednesday.. I am not a novice at this. I’m not even there and I can say. Unless you are prepared for a Dakota Winter, don’t come. Do something meaningful from home. We are fine. This is not first rodeo.
Going off grid for the weekend. Will continue publishing these after Sunday.
November 29, 2016 - ‘There’s a pretty girl behind every tree in North Dakota.’
Approaching the border to North Dakota, we hit the blizzard. Driving at a steady pace of 15 miles per hour, to avoid skidding on ice, seeing a few feet beyond the headlights, afraid the wind will blow us off the road. A few thousand people are camping in this storm. Many of them cannot leave. There is one hotel, twenty miles down, that can shelter the three of us for sixty five dollars. We’re in ground communication with a group there that is asking us to secure tire chains. A local advisory requests locals to report suspicious behavior to police.
Motel until advisory lets up this evening when advisory ends. Two bed one floor. Advisory says dangerous and travel should only happen in emergency.
We are considering filing a suspicious behavior report regarding the governor, and about rogue groups in militarized uniform with semi-automatic guns, engaged in violent activity against a weaponless and sober prayer camp on ancestral land. Tear gas and rubber bullets aimed at faces smells foul play.. High pressure water cannons being used in 26 degree night. Can you file a suspicious behavior report on a multinational corporation? A young medic’s arm was blown off by a concussion grenade for heaven sake. Supply trucks are being fined and arrested to assist the ‘starvation by attrition’ effort. Chemical warfare is alleged through aircraft spray, marked by a strange non-viral cough.
Going off grid for the weekend. Will continue publishing these after Sunday. Also there are no trees to be found.
November 28, 2016 - White Jesus is Not Coming
Our caravan left from Cleveland this morning and we’re driving fourteen hours today. There is forecast for blizzard weather and 10F lows in Mandan tomorrow. We will be stopping in St. Paul, Minnesota tonight, and have about six hours before hitting the North Dakota border.
An unnamed friend donated $54.55 to my presence at Standing Rock. Fuel. Hotel. Food. Whatever. He had a string attached. He wants me to recruit for his organization’s inaugural street march at Standing Rock. This is an anomaly. Standing Rock is not a platform to organize, recruit, or evangelize. Standing Rock is an Indigenous-led prayer and resistance encampment. Native history in the US is riddled with this sort of toxic 'help' and it would be in bad taste for me to honor this request.
I will be talking to and engaging people, hopefully documenting stories. I’m not a journalist and the purpose is not publicity. I suppose deep down, I am going to Standing Rock to listen. There has been a lot of trauma, both historically, and in the last few months between Natives and non-Natives, and the least I can do is go and be emotional support. I’m not there to serve a donor, and I’m committed to not repeating historical pains there. Not time nor place to engage in movement colonizing.
November 27, 2016 - Donor Run Throwback
Hi Facebook. Checking in from Akron, Ohio. I hope you had a good Thanksgiving. I’m catching a ride soon up to Standing Rock. I feel called to serve and be of support as Winter comes. What solidified this in my conscious was the young girl whose arm was blown off by a concussion grenade a week ago. She was attempting to rescue a blacked out individual who got shot in the head by a rubber bullet. I cannot sit by as a spectator.
It will be camping in sub-zero cold. I’m looking to be as self-sufficient as possible. I’m almost fully Winterized. I’d like to get good winter boots & waterproof pants before I get there. Unsure as of now how much food is there, so I'd like to be prepared to feed myself and contribute evenly to gasoline. Thank you to everybody who opened their home up to me since I left. Thank you to past travel donors. Have a wonderful holiday season. Water is life, and it is our collective responsibility to stop all pipelines and gas infrastructure.
We are planning for police checkpoints or pullovers. We're ready to conduct ourselves, and have lawyers hotline on speed dial.
November 01, 2016 - Reflection
I still think about Standing Rock almost every day. This week is extremely painful.
Left today at about 9:30 and drove straight to Ohio. Felt out of place when I got there. Ran into a couple of familiar faces, but no one too personal. Was looking forward to Vegan Cooking which happens every Tuesday night, but it was canceled this week. Oh well.
I am not hearing back from my host, later finding her phone died. I would frequent the library and go between places in town, getting in a lot of small town walking throughout the day. At the library, my credentials were expired and they had to go through hoops and hurdles to reactivate my card. I still have to sign on the library as a guest.
I tracked a friend living here and heard from him he’s going to Jackie O’s to watch the World Series. I went and could not find him. I left to walk towards Open Mic at the coffee house and ran into a friend of mine who just came back from Standing Rock. She had been arrested and bailed out of jail. Women were subject to humiliating ordeals such as strip searches and being jailed in a dog kennel.
I had a dream before coming that the first thing I’d run into in Ohio would be an opportunity to go to Standing Rock. There is a caravan leaving this weekend. I have my learning plan jam this weekend and can do that by phone. I’m going to the Dakota Access Pipeline Encampments.
Scraps
What is happening here is rooted in 500 years of indigenous resistance in this land and rooted in thousands of years of cultures, customs, traditions, and prayer. This could easily happen everywhere. This is the dawn of a new age. Raids have happened on the camp where police destroy shelters and take sacred objects and personal belongings and piss and shit on them. People are planning to stay here to the death.
Locals do not have much money, but do take care of you. To not be taking advantage of the hospitality, it was suggested strongly, to be prepared and as self-sufficient as you can be. So much food and gear was coming in, that was never an issue. There were communal sleeping spaces that were dry and warm. One was a giant geodesic dome donated by Burning Man. Large events were hosted in that dome, sometimes till late. Those events take higher priority over the sleeping space status. I am not a latebird when camping.
I’m going to set a time when I get back, to forgo my abstainance of alcohol, get plastered, have a print out of all my contacts, and do some 1 AM texting.
Trump didn’t come out of nowhere. I am convinced if you went back in time to 1492 and met Christopher Columbus he would be much like Trump. I think Trump is a reincarnate and his rise to the presidency marks the fall of something huge. If you want to give that administration a one finger salute one way to do that is to support this transition.
Tire chains are expensive. The two or three places we went to had nothing to offer. One told us tire chains are illegal in ND(lie). Our caravan of two cars had to leave behind their 2WD vehicle in a strange parking lot. We crammed gear and several hundred dollars worth of donations
In the mirror, Let it be seen, A reflection of, Your truth and being.
Please do not cultivate fearful prayer over my wellbeing here.
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