I wrote this song inspired by the Tom Waits song, 'I'd rather have a bottle in front of me (than have a frontal lobotomy).' The original song is about two siblings, who are very different. My issue is that the original song is from the standpoint of the alcoholic sibling. I wanted to write a song from the standpoint of the lobotomized sibling. I have one biological sibling. Guess which one I am?

"A Little Off the Top"

Upbeat, drone-like, and mechanically cheerful. Think a slightly off-kilter nursery rhyme or a children's song played on a rusty music box. The vocals should be flat, pleasant, and without much emotional inflection. In the key of E Minor. Throughout the song, let the D string (the 3rd string) ring out as a constant drone note. It's part of the G, C, and D chords. This creates that persistent, unchanging background. (G) Brother says I need a (C) drink from his (G) bottle (D) Says it fixes a hurt, fixes a (G) throttle. (G) But my throttle feels (C) fine, it's not stuck (G) or broke. (D) I just watch the pretty, pretty (G) cigarette smoke. (Em) 'Cause you'd rather have a bottle in (C) front of you. (Em) I get that. It's a thing that you (D) like to do. (G) But I just had a little off the (C) top, you see. (G) And now there's always more (D) room for (G) me. (G) You talk about old times, your (C) face gets all (G) red. (D) You say you miss the thoughts in my (G) head. (G) The doctor said my thoughts were (C) overgrown. (G) So he trimmed them back right (D) down to the (G) bone. (G) 'Cause you'd rather have a bottle in (C) front of you. (G) I get that. It's a thing that you (D) like to do. (G) But I just had a little off the (C) top, you see. (G) And now there's always more (D) room for (G) me. (Em) The sky is very blue. (C) My shoes are tied. (G) There is no past that I can (Dsus4) hide inside. (Em) The room is very quiet in my (C) head. (G) It's like a comfortable, (D) well-made bed. (G) And you'd rather have a bottle in (C) front of you. (G) That seems like a lot of work to (D) do. (G) I just had a little off the (C) top, you see. (G) And now there's always more (D) room for (G) me. (G) Sometimes I ask if someone can help me take a little off the front... (C) ...people always think I'm talking about a haircut. (G) It's much neater now. (D) (G) Much neater.

Playing Tips

  • The Drone: The constant drone note is crucial. It represents the unchanging, flat emotional landscape. Strum chords slowly and let them ring. No fancy picking.
  • Vocal Delivery: This is the key to the humor. Sing in a monotone, with a slight, placid smile. The lines should sound like simple facts, not jokes. The comedy is in the contrast between the dark subject matter and the delivery.
  • The "Haircut" Joke: Weaving your actual joke into the outro is perfect. It lands because the character is completely unaware of the double meaning, which makes it funnier.
  • The Duel Aspect: When performed as a duel, the alcoholic sibling's song should be sloppy, emotive, and bluesy. Then, this song should follow immediately, played with robotic precision and cheer. The contrast is the punchline.
  • Chord Simplicity: Stick to basic strumming. The Dsus4 in the bridge creates a slight, unresolved feeling that nicely leads back to the stable G major, mimicking a fleeting, un-placeable emotion that then settles.